"Why are you even here?" Padmé yelled at him. "It's obvious you care about Obi-Wan more than you love me!"
"That's not true!" Anakin yelled right back. Why couldn't she understand? Obi-Wan was very important to him, yes, but she was his wife. "You're the one who wants to frip Obi-Wan!"
"What do you- Anakin, that's not true!"
"Of course it is! He's much hotter than me! Of course you'd cheat on me with him!"
"Anakin Skywalker!" Padmé reeled back as if slapped. "How dare you accuse me of cheating!" she yelled.
She was yelling some more, too, but Anakin tuned it out, because he had just had the greatest idea of his life. "You know, maybe we should invite Obi-Wan for a threesome," he said. "Just like – I don't know if you watched it, but this one episode of Coruscant Heights had the wife cheat on her husband with the butler, and then it ended with a happy threesome. Like that."
"Just for one night or permanently?"
"I mean, I didn't see the next episode, so-"
Padmé rolled her eyes, "No, with Obi-Wan. Are you suggesting a hot night or polyamory?"
That was... Anakin thought. "Polyamory?"
Padmé didn't reply immediately. She slowly walked to the divan and sat down. After a moment of contemplation, she said, "All right. Invite him. Half the time it feels like I'm married to him as well, so I might as well enjoy the benefits."
Anakin lit up. "Yes! I'll ask him the next chance I get."
"Come here then, and brush up on your kissing skills," Padmé playfully suggested.
"Your wish is my command, milady." Anakin bowed and kissed the back of her hand, then made his way up her arm to her neck and finally her lips.
"So, Obi-Wan, what do you think of threesomes?" Anakin asked the next time he and Obi-Wan were together in private, which was in a turbolift on the way to meet the Chancellor.
"Are you trying to invite me to a threesome?" Obi-Wan asked, more shocked than the situation warranted. He was hot and he knew it – what couple wouldn't want to invite him as a permanent fixture?
"Yes."
Obi-Wan's expression grew to resemble a cornered eopie. "Anakin, I try not to think too much about your sex life, but really, if one is going to invite someone to a threesome, one should not do it immediately prior to the meeting-"
"Wait, what meeting?"
"-as it looks like one originally had another person lined up who cancelled on the sex and that the new invitee is the emergency back-up option, rather than genuinely appreciated-"
"Of course we appreciate you!" Anakin said. "We love you! You're great!"
"-and even putting that matter of etiquette aside, I am not having sex with the Chancellor!"
Anakin stared at him. The Chancellor? "What's the Chancellor got to do with anything?"
Now Obi-Wan was staring at him. "Perhaps you should start from the beginning. With more explanation, this time."
Anakin drew up to his full height and rearranged his robes. "Master Kenobi, Senator Amidala and I would like to invite you for a threesome in her apartment sometime. If you're amenable, we would like for the arrangement to be both sexual and romantic and also ongoing. Was that sufficiently clear?"
"It was, thank you." Obi-Wan sighed in relief.
The turbolift came to a stop, cutting off the conversation. They walked out to the Chancellor's office.
Obi-Wan leaned to Anakin's ear and whispered, "My answer is yes."
Anakin nodded and did his best to keep the grin off his face. The Chancellor was a dear friend, and Anakin might tell him about the result of this relationship change, but not until it had happened.
That evening, Anakin took the turbolift to Padmé's apartment at 500 Republica rather than try to sneak in past the security. With Obi-Wan with them, it'd apparently look like a completely regular evening between friends.
His face broke into a grin when he got to the correct floor and saw Obi-Wan was already at Padmé's door. With a few Force-enhanced strides, Anakin hopped next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hi!"
"Oh, hello," Obi-Wan said, just in time for C-3PO to open the door and invite them in.
They hung their cloaks by the door and went in. Padmé had dimmed the lights and set out some candles, and-
Holy kriff. Padmé herself was sitting on the divan, wearing her sexiest dress: made of translucent pink fabric spattered with sequins, the only thing protecting the wearer's modesty were the sequin additions at the breasts and crotch. Additionally, the cut was low enough that the top could fall down if Padmé breathed out too much, and the skirt, though ankle-length, was slit high up to the thigh.
"Hello, Obi-Wan, Anakin," Padmé said as she rose. The golden sequins glittered in the candlelight. "I'm glad you're both here."
"Hello, Padmé," Obi-Wan said, very obviously glancing down at where Padmé's breasts tried to break free from the dress. "I have to say, your attire is rather ... captivating."
"Don't worry, I intend to be out of it before the evening is over." Padmé gently placed a hand on Obi-Wan's cheek, then kissed Anakin on the mouth.
"How direct." Obi-Wan drew a breath and tore his gaze from Padmé's cleavage. "An ongoing polyamorous arrangement, was it?"
"Yes."
Obi-Wan nodded. "Good." Then he grabbed the nape of Anakin's neck and pulled him into a kiss.
It wasn't like Padmé – she didn't manhandle him – and the beard was slightly scratchy, but oh kriff Obi-Wan was kissing him and it felt so great Anakin thought he might burst. He moaned into Obi-Wan's mouth and let Obi-Wan support him with a hand around his waist when his knees began feeling weak.
"Wow," Anakin said when Obi-Wan broke the kiss. Obi-Wan looked smug.
"That looked nice," Padmé said and stepped closer to them. She smiled, enthralled, and took another step-
-only for her dress to fall off her shapely breasts. All three of them stared at them.
Padmé started giggling madly. "Oh, that was-" She doubled over with laughter.
Obi-Wan knelt and ran a hand up Padmé's leg. "I do believe we promised to help the Senator out of her dress," he said, mouth very close to one of her breasts.
"That we did," Anakin replied. He pressed a quick kiss to Obi-Wan's temple because he could, then went to open the catches of Padmé's dress.
Anakin and Obi-Wan's clothes came off as well, of course. And if nothing was folded or hung appropriately, well, they had more pressing and enjoyable things to care about.