It is a lovely day on Korriban, and you are a horrible goose.
Dreshdae looms in front of you, cut into the rock and dust of this planet that is full of tombs of Sith of old. You, however, are a goose, and this planet contains no tombs of geese. What more evidence for the superiority of goosekind over Sith could one want? This is a settlement full of people to torment, and you will enjoy every moment of it.
"Hey, what's that?" a guard asks.
"I dunno, some kind of wildlife?" his partner replies.
They shift nervously. You saunter towards them, mischief in your stride.
"We were told to keep the Tuk'ata out, but that's no Tuk'ata."
"...do you think it's even worse?"
"Kriff, everything on this planet is terrible."
You come to a halt and stand ominously. The guards rock on their feet and try to slide away from you discreetly, but you see right through them.
"I don't think we're paid enough for this," the first guard says.
"The Sith like being challenged, you know?" the other agrees.
"Right."
One of them presses a button and the heavy doors open for you. You waddle out of the spaceport and into Dreshdae like you own the place.
Well, you are a goose. Everything belongs to you.
And the human caretakers have done such a bad job taking care of it! You would say you're stealing all their shiny things as retribution, but you'd steal all their shiny things, all the things they had in their idiocy left unsecured, and quite a few things they had permanently attached to the ground anyway. Such is the way of the goose.
As you round the corner, you spot a human yelling at three other humans. The three are cowering in front of the yelling one, but the yelling one isn't cowering at all, and none of them is displaying the proper attitude towards a goose. This must be fixed immediately.
The yelling one has a lightsaber on his belt. You saunter past him, as casual as casual can be, and grab the lightsaber with a great HONK!
"Urgh!" The yelling one scoffs, but does not spot the missing lightsaber. "What are the gate guards doing? They're supposed to keep the wildlife out."
"Uh, Master Shaardan?" one of the cowering ones says. "I think it has your lightsaber?"
Shaardan turns. You look him dead in the eye and dare him to defy the might of the goose.
"Give that back, you filthy creature!" he screeches and lunges at you.
You, of course, are a goose, the pinnacle of creation, and easily dodge him. With a mighty HONK! you flap your wings and zoom off through the cowering humans' legs and into the streets of Dreshdae. This Shaardan may be a Sith, but you are a goose, and you shall honk eternal!
The denizens of Dreshdae notice you and gawk. They do not beware you. It has been too long since they had a goose. You shall remedy this with every fluffy white feather of your body.
"Out of the way!" Shaardan yells at the onlookers, because the onlookers are gawking at you, the goose of the situation, shining white feathers and fast orange feet, as it right, instead of his boring, slow, bulky, clumsy human shape. The onlookers do not get out of his way because he is not a goose.
Your little orange feet, perfect, goosy, and glorious, slap against Dreshdae's flat red ground as you effortlessly avoid Shaardan. You can feel the chaos around and behind you as the humans dodge you and collide with each other and Shaardan as they gawk at your grace.
But you are a horrible goose and this chase has turned from horror to the status quo. You plant your feet on the ground and turn to face him.
"Finally!" he snarls. "Give my lightsaber back, you disgusting creature."
You intend to do no such thing, but let him entertain his delusions. You stand your ground. There is a challenging gleam in your eye.
Shaardan strides over, still clearly underestimating you. He reaches his hand towards the lightsaber in your beak.
Because you are a horrible goose, you toss the lightsaber away with a great HONK! and charge. You hit his torso, wings flap-flapping, and he flies to his back. He is a human and he thought himself above it all, but you are a goose and you have conquered him and brought him down. You do a flappy dance of victory on his stomach, punching out pained groans when your feet slap down on him.
He swats at you with a hand. You are a glorious goose, victorious conqueror of his spirit, so you bite it hard. He screams in pain. Victory dance complete, you contemplate his possessions.
There is a shiny thing on his belt. You yank out his whole belt and HONK! with glee as you run towards his lightsaber.
Behind you, Shaardan hops to his feet. "I'll kill you you infernal ani- AARGH!" he shouts as he trips over his trousers, which are now around his ankles because you are a glorious goose who has stolen his belt.
You grab his lightsaber to go with the medallion and belt that are also yours now. All the things in this city, nay, on this planet, are now belong to you. You will steal all their lightsabers, you will steal all their shiny medallions, you will steal all their belt buckles and you will throw them all into a lake.
Impressed with your hoard of shinies, the next guard lets you through. His armor is very shiny, but you are a goose of excellent taste and there are more compelling things to steal. Instead, you waddle to the Valley of the Dark Lords.
You are a horrible goose in need of a lake. Korriban is slightly dry for your purposes, but it cannot be so dry as to have nothing to throw things into.
"Stop that white creature!" Shaardan screeches, holding up his trousers with one hand like an idiot who got his belt stolen by a goose.
The chase is on! You give a resounding HONK! to alert everyone in the vicinity to Shaardan's misery and stretch out your neck and zoom. You are terror and you are the despair of your victims. Shaardan doesn't stand a chance.
"An amusing plight you've found yourself in, Shaardan," another man says as you run past. Shaardan does not reply, showing that he has learned the folly of speech and perhaps even the superiority of HONK.
A hole in the cliffs catches your eye. You run in.
"You're not supposed to go there, Shaardan!" the other man says.
"Shut up, Master Wynn!" Shaardan replies and follows you.
You run through the shadowed stone corridor and into the tomb. Your instincts say that there will be a nice lake somewhere here. You simply have to find it so you can show everyone who's boss.
Ah! You see liquid before you. It is quite green and fume-y, but it is a liquid.
You toss the lightsaber that once was Shaardan's into the green lake. It dissolves with a hiss.
"No!" he yells and throws himself onto the shore. "Noooooo!"
You draw your head up and make eye contact with him. You toss his belt and the shiny medallion into the green lake as well.
Shaardan screams. "I will skin you alive!" he yells and lunges at you.
You, of course, are a goose and dodge him easily. You honk loudly as you run circles around him and Wynn.
"Yes, yes. Let your hatred bring you power," Wynn says.
He is a fool who speaks with human words rather than goose honks. You display your superiority over him and the rest of the featherless flightless two-legs by stealing his lightsaber. He realizes his miscalculation for a moment, horror blooming on his face, as you look him dead in the eye and throw his lightsaber into the green lake as well. It dissolves with a hiss.
You saunter off, danger in your step. The day is young and you will cause even more problems on purpose.